Well managed conflict is a sign of a healthy workplace – where differences are talked through, there is a high level of consultation and collaborative problem solving, and different points of view are taken into account. A conflict resilient workplace is proactive in building a culture of communication; responds quickly and appropriately when things do go wrong; and complies with relevant guidelines, rules, regulations, principles of natural justice and procedural fairness.
Causes of Conflict
If you find yourself in conflict with a colleague it is important to acknowledge all the contributing factors. Conflict often arises when people are under stress.
Costs of Unresolved Conflict
- Individual distress
- Mental and physical well-being
- Absenteeism
- Ongoing dissatisfaction
- Alienation
- Broken relationships
- Lost productivity and lost opportunities
- Declining trust and morale and increased disputation
- Strained organisational resources
- Difficulties with recruitment and retention
Clever Conflict
Getting clever about conflict means noticing common patterns and taking charge in constructive ways.
Difficult conversations are almost all made up of three conversations:
- The “What Happened’ conversation
- The ‘Feelings’ conversation
- The ‘Identity’ conversation
Avoiding the Blame Game
- Are you focused on who is right?
- Are you focused on what happened?
- Are you holding the other person wholly responsible?
- Do you find yourself trying to prove it?
- Are you certain about what the other person intended?
- Do you think they are the problem?
Then the conflict is managing you!
Try to see the conflict from a neutral person’s point of view:
Rule 1: Be genuine about listening to the other person’s perspective
Rule 2: Stop arguing (or thinking) about who is right
Rule 3: Don’t make assumptions about intentions
Rule 4: Don’t play the blame game
Rule 5: Acknowledge feelings
Rule 6: Be aware of how conflict affects people’s sense of identity
Rule 7: Focus on the problem, not the person.
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